so... its been ... just a bit.. since I've been to this here page.. not to long.. but just a bit.

probably better checking http://www.myspace.com/inthepast

yeah. its busy being in college and all. sometimes.

Today was one of the best days in my whole life. I got enrolled to start school on the 17th or January! WOOT WOOT!

 I'm taking

BU 101- Intro to Buisness

BU 170- Principles of Marketing

IT 102- PC Applications

EN 120- Communications

 OH boy... I can't WAIT. I applied for a JOB, and F.O.B is going on tour AGAIN! so there's not much more I can really ask for.

I gotsta go.. because mr smelly pants is being a bastard. like he always is. woot. BLAH

I love all who are my friends... it wouldn't be the same if wern't for ya.

Sometimes I feel as if I am damned if I do and damned if I don't do it. Sometimes it just sounds way to good to possibly pass up, I mean hey, if I can get double more then what I gave then, I'm making out.  I always feel as if I'm under someones spell, an evil person. As if I, myself am not strong enough to possess what I have myself to handle. I like to think that someday I will be able to handle it all, it won't be today, and I know it won't be tomorrow. Maybe I should go away. Would that make it easier for me, or will it just be a waste of my time? But Could I possibly go through it myself, by myself. cold turkey. Could I? can I?  This is one of the most scariest things I believe I am going to have to do, for myself.

It's on my mind when I am, when I'm not. but when am I not? I don't remember. Do you?

 I gotta go. do something. more then just be a character from one of my books.

i can't believe this is happening to me.

For those whom read this and understand .... a situation.. this may seem quiet funny... completly possible of being totaly right...

 Aquarius:

-Your like in the next 12 months:

>>Aquarius is always on a quest for an "impossible" dream. But a recent setback has made  you a realist, at least for the time being. You've had to make complex decisions about relationships or family. Yet your determination to carry out a larger, more meaningful purpose is still strong, and it will liberate you in 2006. New planetary patterns will inspire ideas brilliant enough to alicit an outpouring or support from loved ones. Whether you make a real-estate investment, start a family, or take a professional risk, you'll find yourself within familiar territory: indeed, the seed of this plan has been with you for a long time. Mean-while, far-flung connections will give you a taste for real financial security.

> Your Love Life:

 After a long period of upheaval, you're ready to settle into this new, steadier year. And, quite liberally, your love life will bloon again. As an aquarius, you're better at beginnings than endings, so the hard part is done. Neptune is in your sign this year, bringing out the romantic in you- as well as the daredevil. Believing you have nothing to lose, you'll make a risky decision about opening up and leaping into a love affair. Between March and September, you and a lover will deepen your friendship during a lifestyle transition. His companionship will sweeten your journey in 2006.

> What to change in 2006:

 You're bringing yourself down by holding tight to an opinion or habit- or perhaps even a task you feel obligated ti complete. Open your mins and make room for thoughts for moving on.

> Your January 2006 Focus.

LOVE: To resolve your problems, look closely at the entire person you're dealing with. Don't be blinded by a fantasy you created. A new moon in Aquarius will stur up your past and inspire you to reinisce- possibly reconnect.

WORK: Somone nearby, who appears to be your opposite, will become an ideal professional partner. Each of you, in your own way. likes to break the rules. You'll draw courage from one another as you entertain a daunting proposal.

     So there ya have it.... CRAZy.... just insane.

 you know what im talking about.

peace out

s0 tomorrow is New years Eve. what are ya'll doing tomorrow night? Guess what I'm doing.... No one will ever Know. (just between My oldest and Radest friends. who mean the world tome. I know this year will be better than the last, because I honestly  don't believe there is anything else that can possibly go wrong.  Especially since now I am now.. and FOREVER ( JOYANNE) reunited with my father, step-mother, step sister, step brother, and my oh so twin like little sister.. cant even describe how awesome it is to finally get to know each other ... and know that this time we wont be broken apart, .

yeah... its about it.

   time to spend some quality time with a sexy sexy man named mathew.

much love to the gang:RB.LS.BB.JM.MB.JE.AZ.PD.KG.JH.

The only good thing about christmas this year is that I know that soon after there will be a day in which I can get totaly  wasted and it will be alright. New years..... what can I say about new years... its one of those holidays that we all can enjoy with a whole bunch of your friends. I'm So looking forward to going to Manchvegas this year. It will be nice to finally be around everyone again. It's been since Ricky and Jason-sons birthday.  Its about time.

    thats about all im going to say..... mathew needs to use the computer now.

x mas time..... make me sad.

    not much more to write

      When your sitting in your bed sometimes, do you ever just sit there and wonder where your going?  If your going to the right school, getting the right education. I do it all the time, just sit and think. Really, I feel as if my life since August 23rd has been me just thinking. Occasionally I can just go with the flow, but you know how that goes. Everyone does. It's a good thing, to think, I'm aware, I hate just always thinking about "If", and "How" and"Why".

          For real I wouldn't change anything that's gone on since then til now, but it's such a hard thing to even compromise with. Of course I would take back my mother. I want her back everyday, but I can't have her. Not physically. Sometimes I think if my mother didn't pass away would I ever have really fully grown up, but like most of us, our parents take pretty good care, make sure that at all times everything is going to be ok , no matter what the situation is. So no,I don't believe I would have at all been able to grow up, but in a good way. You see? But also in a bad way.

well I don't feel like typing anymore.

peace out

so right now im wriing w/ my on screen keyboard. and my pen       NONE*NON IM WRITING W/ MY OWN HANDWRITING I JUST LOVE MY COMPUTER                                 

ALRIGHT,IM OUT